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It’s just one of those nights. A night in which I question every decision I have ever made in my life. A life long pro and con list. Begs the question, why? I do not have many regrets. Still, nights like this happen. I’m not sure how it started but it all came down to h.e.r. It always does. Depending on how well you know me, you either know exactly what I speak of, think you know but have absolutely no idea, or just plain don’t know at all. Always just an arms reach away, just seems like my arm just ain’t quite long enough. These posts I make are unfiltered. As I was writing what I previously wrote in this entry, I filtered my thoughts a bit, I apologize, reader, but I’m just not ready, not yet. Will I ever be ready? I certainly hope so. Its a mix between a burden and a I don’t even know, all I know is, damned if you do damned if you don’t could eventually be the result. The illusion of self assuredness. Its insane how something so seemingly simple can be so hard, can mean so much. The difficulty lies in the expression. As if this was the only direction I was being emotionally pulled in. Heh…I wish. The title explains it all. I don’t know anymore. I just wish I had someone who understood the dilemma that I stupidly present myself with each and everyday and could offer some kind of solution that fits my current state. I cannot seem to grasp that everything just isn’t going to be handed to me, that I’ve gotta go out there and take it. I think taking your own advice is sometimes the most difficult. 

 

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One Comment

  1. I feel the same way about a couple things in this post…


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