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Its 5 a.m. My sister will be getting up for school in an hour. I lie awake in my bed feeling the adverse effects of a long evening nap. 24 hours prior to this moment I was struggling to fall asleep on the floor at the residence of a friend of a friend. This weekend, beginning Thursday evening Jon and myself set out on a trip that would take us to East Lansing and then Grand Rapids, 2 places where I did most of my growing up. Overall the trip was nothing phenomenal, but I’d say it was a good time. The winter time is beginning to be unbearable. I love the fall in Michigan, as well as the summer. The winter however would not be missed if it decided not to show up one year. 

I just watched the movie “My Best Friends Girl.” It was pretty garbage.

I’m really beginning to wonder how many regrets I’m going to cycle through before a lesson is learned. Its hard to explain the state of mind that this produces. Its almost as if I’m becoming comfortable with the self pity that comes hand in hand with the constant missed opportunity. If I could stop feeling sorry for myself long enough to realize that I am now reaping what I have sown. I think maybe this moment could actually be an epiphany of sorts. I hope so. I’d compare it to having an ultimate destination in mind, or goal, and being unwilling  too hesitant to put into motion a series of events that would lead to this destination or goal. I’m a generally happy person and I think I am hindering the progression of this happiness to another level. 

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